Perspective

Life teaches a lot....

when I was in my btech (rather abt to finish my btech) i thought i have seen everything... i can handle anything and I am equipped to face the world.......... oh man was I wrong!!!!

Throughout my grad school..... I have met so many people.... none of whom who fall into the bracket of the kind of people i know.... its actually scary to see this...... but thats life... you make mistakes... you learn..... another important difference especially for a person like me... who interacts very little with americans .... the number of people you meet is small..... and once a group is formed you restrict yourself to that group and do not elt any new comers.... that is where the difference starts.... in IIT you meet new people .... make new freinds and see many like minded people ... here you have a small group with whom the time spend is immense....... nearly as much as you tend to spend in a family...... thats when you see a person inside out.... and you see so many disagreements...... not that i am agreeable to others!
I being a very emotional kind who once lets a person into the inner circle spends time...thinking abt him/her a lot.... which i am realizing is not the right way... so i am working on it...... lets see how far that it will take.... live life... have fun... make friends... they can live on their own.. and you better live on your own... "I" was never important to me..... now..i have to give it more importance..... (Ofcourse i impose myself on people... so i tend to get what i want.. thats unconcsious... i dont do that consciously....)
i dont know what life has in store for me.... i am slicha scared looking forward......

Small things that mean nothing to most people influence me... i know the person does not do it intentionally..... but it has its effect!!! anyway.....................

got a gift......liked it and as usual am happy :D

Sem and life

The semester has become hectic.... with assignments and stuff....

the courses.. especially econo -ii is really fun... i like the way the prof teaches...and am learning lot of stuff...

then networks is as usual fun... the prof a little too picky with details and slghtly too many problem stes!!

then traffic is cool.... going on well....

research .. well i ahve lot to do and soon..... so its gonna be a busy 3 months ahead!!!

A day to ponder on

a very different....

been sometime since i talked heart to heart.......

I dont know what went wrong.. but it did for sure.....

It was good talking like that..... it surely brought up things that when u keep thinking alone dont come up... its heartening...... of course there are things that need to change.... on all sides..... but all parties are willing to make an effort....

coming to my own issues.... i know i behave rudely sometimes... indifferently to a person sometines.... its not intented that way.... it happens... i will try to change that....... its a result of something else...... however... it is important to realize my limitations... i cherish somethings..when i miss them everything related becomes painful...... anyway!!!

lets see what the future holds..............
I am sure i will make a sincere effort towards improving things... and i will work towards that...

signing off with hope.................

one more assignment

one more day.... one more assignment...

how long will I be working on HW's.... i am getting too old for them...

Waiting for the day where i set HW's rather than do them ;)

My Schedule

well.... dont know how long it will last ....

but i am working hard to make it work....

work outs on tuesday n thursday.....

and then volley on saturday....

its been fun.... now for abt 3 weeks....

I hope it continues.........................

Especially i need time like that!!!!! with the annoying things that go around me....

dont know if everybody feels that way.............. But i strongly do!!!

if only...............................................................................

well.................................

the point i dont understand is .... everybody seems to be fine (may be not everybody!!)
why the hell do I need to even think abt it....

learn to be indifferent...... it helps always...........

will try!!!

weird ha

there will be days........ where things seem weird..... and u cant stand some people........

just cant stand..... may be its something about them...... you find they have lost that something.... and obviously that person cannot see that........

anyway.... why do I worry !!!!!

These are days..... where I feel if I am being stupid..... i dont know the answer......

But I am like that.... and I know I cant help it...........

anyway........ back to coding... btw coding is coooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.........

unfare World

what an unfare world we live......

i am talking about the independence struggle that India went through to send british out of it...

people sacrificed lives......


every person in the world would have heard of "Mahatma Gandhi"..... his ideals very well documented.... taught in schools from childhood.....

I personally do not approve of Gandhian Philospy...

People who followed other philosphies were suppressed during the struggle... why...only Gandhi's way is credited for our independence.... he was one....out of the many.... where are those many... what happenned....they are lost in the sands of time....

Of course.... they achieved their goals... fighting for their motherland..... what a noble goal it is !!!

I dream of such a birth during that times.... trying to fight for "Poorna Swaraj".... it makes life so much more livable... an aim... a precious goal..........

just wish to find a strong aim............

gen

there are days where you feel happy to be alone..... today is one of those!!!

reasons for that might exist or not....................... but the feeling is very strong!!!

interestin weekend

was an interesting weekend.....

watched "a musical" then a gult movie..... i enjoyed it.......
i guess you have to be in the mood to watch a movie to ensoi it... if not u spoil ur own fun and do disturb others...anyway...

two b'days in 2 days... one was quiet.. the other noisy.....

they were different.....

oc course its obvious that in the noisy one there were too many girls.... i somehow feel odd when girls outnumber guys... may be because of being in iit where the sex ratio is so poor....

anyway................

Broadway Hairspray

An interesting thing I did today...

I.... the mass man!! watched a Broadway musical.... well dont know how to describe the experience.... it was interesting .... i liked it... i had fun.... and i felt..u need to watch more to appreciate it.............

volley as usual was great...........

and some problem of a friend... i wish everything turns out to be good...

Friends....

one of those interesting chats....

well heard an interesting statistic... you make friends with 10% of the guys you meet and only 5% of the girls you meet.......

Well i dont know how of it is true........

anyway..... guys are so clear hearted and are easy to see....

girls on the otherhand have their own plans in life...... and wishes and other stuff......

it is impossible to understand them....
anyway...

life goes on.....

Arguments.... esp with girls

I always like discussing issues.... though i have very strong opinions and thus leading to arguments..... but always whenever the other person is a girl.... its really very difficult to argue naturally for me.... I am afraid that I will hurt the person.... I am not one who starts these strong discussions with girls, because I feel they end up taking it less sportingly compared to guys... with guys you need not be so careful !!........

may be i make this assumption wrongly... but somehow i know there is a difference when i argue with a girl and with a boy.....

anyway............

Funny

When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow"

its funny yet.... it seems to be ridiculously true for so many guys!!!!!!!

god help them...........

Scehdule

I have considered myself a night person......
i was actually very producive in the early mornings during my childhood.... i used to get up at 3.00 am and study for 2 hrs and sleep ................those periopds were very productive.....

once i reached my +1 and +2 however all of that changed i could not get up at all in the morning... however i learned to stay up late.. the habit intensified in my undergrad........

even in my first 2 years at ut Austin... i pretty much slept late and got up late..... to work... i remember the numerous night outs for so many assignments..so many deadlines.... and all.....

now .... for my quals... which will be held at 8.00 am.... i tried to get up early for sometime before the exams.... i got up around 7-8....... which is way early by my standards.... for that i slept around 12-1 am...... after my quals... i did not try to get back to my old schedule... the biggest question is shud i get back or not....
i am still thinking... i have tried for the last 2-3 weeks... the morning session works ok types..... still i feel some uneasiness throughout the day.... i am not used to working so much time in the day i guess...... anyway... lets see...

the schedule this sem sounds hectic... with so much CEMDAP work...... my bicycle project.... my safety paper...... then add to that my 3 courses.... all of that makes one hell of a sem!!! i am looking forward to..... lets see

One more to the God's tally

What a player he is.....

I am in an era where many sports are seeing athletes that are competing not very much with their counterparts but with history.....

For instance ... michael schumacher....or schumi.... has won so many races more than anybody ever...... and still he is fighting to win more... and whats more he has a chance to win one more championship before he retires....

then Tiger Woods.... still winning many in golf....

and of course Federer the best ever tennis player to have played!!!!

oh man ... what all he does.... on the tennis court is simply amazing and very close to impossible to believe........... he has won his 9th.... the questions for him ...as far as i m concerned are.....
1) when will he win a French
2) how many ..... i wud love to see 9 more...... but my guess for Federer.... is 18......

lets see........ how well i will do on the guess

the ever present topic

at the age that I and the people around me are... i guess this is something unavoidable ... even if you consciously do not want to talk abt it........... and it is very weird and sometimes feels odd the way people think.. and the way i think.... but somehow still i feel i will do what i feel i should do.... yes.. agreed i have not been in such situation directly.. that does change things... but still i refuse to believe that it will change so much!!.... sometimes i feel may be something is wrong with me.... but still i cant change thats how i am... and thats what makes me happy naturally...... anyway!!!

had an interesting chat at mozarts..... it was good to hear the views from a diffferent perspective... but the thing is i tried to make somethings clear to my friend... the person knows all of those pretty well and chose to do what .. is doing now.... so its better...... lets see how it goes!!

the question i dont understand why i end up provinding counsel.. when i m not the patient kind and know they wont see what i see!!!!!

life is something!!!!

Complex issues

there are issues that i will never feel comfy with in life....

i do not understand somethings .... may be i think too much... Or may be i tend to take in all thats wrong... whatever be the reason i spend too much time trying to figure out... knowing clearly that its not worth it... anyway... i am fighting it... i would be indifferent if need arises very soon... and i think it will arise..... or even if it does not..... its not for long..................

had a nice chat..... and its scary to know what people have gone thru... suddenly u feel u have been thru nothing and make fuss of stuff that is not so bad... anyway!!

been sometime

been sometime since i blogged......

my novel "the negotiator" is keeping me up till 2 in the night....

i odnt know how long i can keep this schedule....

but i been coming to office by 10...... which is very early by my standards..... but somehow i have not yet felt I am getting lot of work done!!

but its been ok.... i started work on my new code ...estimations... etc.....

and there will be things i am confused about..... i dont know!!!!

Dilemma

it is very difficult to understand myself !!!!!!!!!

Lage raho and cooking

Went to lage raho munna bhai...

ok types comedy movie...
the senti and comedy of the pair was good..... though a little too much of gandhian philosphy... but it was ok....

it was good to clean the house finally!!!.....
hope it stays like that for a while....

i cooked lots of stuff today.... and it went well.....................

The Long Weekend

The long weekend has begun...........

So what will I be doing....

I have decided its time I get back to work....

I have my safety paper to work on..... apart from the CEMDAP stuff.....

Will try to make progress

and also I have my course material to accumulate..........

Of course I would do it an easy pace.....

Will have fun with tennis and other stuff.....

But will try to accpet the fact that I am alone in the world and the gap that has formed is hard to be filled.....and it will ahve a lasting mpact on my life.....

anyway ..thats life!!