Too much stress

 The decision has been made and yet it has been a tough few weeks. The pressure sometimes is overwhelming. I just hope it gets a little easier going forward.

Sad day

 Still didn't sink in. My dad passed away today.

Unbelievable man - was the first in his family to study and get a job. He got out of farming and ensured his brothers did the same. For a person born in a village he had amazing vision. I mean, how else can you get a small town kid to study for IIT. I didn't know about IIT until I finished 10th class. Yet, he believed I could do it. Even when I didn't believe. 

His changed the trajectory of his family (not just his kids). As I miss him immensely today, I can only pray he is at peace. 

A quote

Saw a quote today - "In mediocrity, there is comfort, but no joy. In going beyond your limits, there is joy, but maybe no comfort. You have to choose."

I would probably rephrase it to say

In settling for basic, there is comfort, but no joy. In going beyond your limits, there is joy, but maybe no comfort. You have to choose.

so true about no comfort!

Hard

 Why does it have to be so hard?

2024

 Another year comes to a close. 2023 gives way to 2024. 

It has been a different kind of year. Health issues have been a recurring theme all year. But, through all of that I hope I gained something. 

Work wise it was a tough one in some ways. But again there were some positives. My student got a faculty job. I am proud of the student's achievement. It has been a year of learning even after several years of experience as a Prof. I don't know what I learned and what I can change but I just hope to do the best I can. 

Personally, our family unit is doing ok. I slip up many a time but it's still ok because of what my other half does. She has been supportive in dealing with health issues in India. I couldn't have been a responsible son without her carrying the load at home. I owe that to her (among several other things). Kids are getting older with their own personalities. It's mostly enjoyable but with some significant challenges. Again, not all of them are simple or easy to address but we will keep trying.

Slowly but surely my intentions to settle in India are weakening. It's not a easy decision but it's very hard to re-establish life back home. That's something I am realizing with all the challenges we face here. Having my sister in US is also making me analyze my decision. Let's see..

On other mundane stuff, we updated our car to an Odyssey and I am happy we did it. It makes the drives to visit family easier.

One good thing that I started in 2023 is to get back to swimming. I hope I can continue this well in 2024.

Wishing any readers a happy new year and hopefully you and your family will have a prosperous new year.

Hoping for a good year of doing my best (and our best as a unit). 

Broad retires

 Humble man

I know I am not the most skilful player that's played. I know I need every inch of my competitive spirit and my drive and my effort to get anything out of my ability. And I would say every day I've pulled on a Nottinghamshire shirt or an England shirt, I've given my heart and soul.

I can't think that there would be too many cricket fans out there that would think I've slacked off for a moment.

I was not a fan of his cricket but I agree that he gave his everything. May be thats we can do - if only we can focus on that part and not on results!

Anyway, I hope he enjoys his retirement! 

Nice article

 A quote from LiveMint Vivek Kaul

As and when this happens, I will be simply happy because there will be fewer entitled individuals going around, giving us gyan on LinkedIn in bad English about everything that happens around us. With due apologies to the great Sahir Ludhianvi: “Wo subah kabhi to aayegi (That morning will come some day!).”

Superbowl and Pujara

 Superbowl - Patrick Mahomes is good; comes across as a very humble person too - nice role model.

Another person I have always liked Pujara - an old school test batsman. Glad he will get to 100 tests for India. An amazing feat for a guy who had to justify his place every match. He has some amazing accomplishments in Australia (and elsewhere too!) - nice piece by Ashwin his team mate here. Well done Mirugam :P

Note

 One of those notes prepared by our older one at school. His dream "to be nicer to his family". To say it brought us to tears is an understatement. We are fortunate to have him - even with all our struggles. 

Pride

Hmmm.. it can creep into your person. May be this is what makes me take criticism so seriously. May be I should lighten up and continue. If this is what I can implement because of what happened in the meeting, it may be is worth the struggle and mental anguish.

I need to remind myself why I do what I do. The joy is in the work not what people think about it. I hope I can remember this always.

How many?

 How many of these should I face? Its brutal and I am getting tired!

Amazing piece

 on the run-out controversy by Monga here

Federer

 Well, time has come on a great player. Roger Federer retires with 20 grand slam trophies - an unimaginable number. Yet, he is third on the list. That's the problem with pushing frontiers, once you show it can be done, others will do it better.  Good on them.

As a Federer fanatic fan, I would like to thank him for the wonderful memories. I still remember the night out for his 5th Wimbledon final - he won that. After 2009 or so my life got in the way but until then I think I watched all his grand slam finals. I could not get myself to watch his recent games because he lost a step and was not playing at his best. I could not watch the genius struggle on a mortal plane. That's a testament to the standards he set himself!

Hope he has a great retired life! You and your family deserve it! Thanks for the single handed backhand and the several magical memories. 

PS: Federer was also helpful in bringing me closer to my wife - I will owe him forever for that. I have an admission to make - I was ok with Federer losing the 2008 Wimbledon Final provided I got an Yes. Usually, I pleaded for his victory! Sorry Fed!

Life

 One of those months where everything seems to be hard and going nowhere. I knew having kids and raising a family is hard work. But, some days its very hard. The sheer effort to take care of kids when they are sick is very tough - it becomes insurmountable when you have a kid who gets sick often. It hits you two ways. first, it is not easy to fix the problem and the stress of keeping watch every second if the kid is getting affected makes you tired and drained. Second, you have to watch the amount of suffering/pain the kid goes through. He is moody, tired, stressed and at 5 years does not know how to handle it. He makes compromises - isn't it harsh for a five year old to compromise on playing in water or eating ice cream. It is tough to see the growth and the reason for the growth. I wish he did not have to. But, that's life. I hope it gets better for his sake.  

Smart World

 We are supposed to be entering a smart world where AI can solve every problem we face. Unfortunately, AI still has to be used by people. It does not matter how smart any piece of infrastructure is - as long as wrong decisions are made by humans involved it will fail. That is why I think the focus should be on improving the personal capital and infrastructure together not a either or approach. The unfortunate situation in Uvalde, Texas is an example. For the police to wait for 1 hour to enter a room barricaded is unbelievable. An example of how all fancy guns/infrastructure failed to provide safety for innocent kids. 

2021

Wow - I just realized I have not posted in nearly 2 years. Its no surprise, it coincided with some of the toughest times in my life. Two young kids during Covid is a nightmare. We did our best, broke down multiple times and did things I never thought I would resort to. The energy levels in the body have gone down and the demands for those energy levels have increased substantially. 

Workwise things have been crazy and yet OK. My resume will say I had a great couple of years (promoted to Full Prof and other stuff) but the struggle will not be apparent. That's ok - I am fortunate!

Anyway - happy to be moving forward and hoping for a few easier years!

For the workhorse!

Nice to hear Ishant talk about his process here. He is not the widely mentioned fast bowler in India but to have the drive he has is inspirational!

Daycare for Omkar

Om started his day care today. I hope he will settle down soon. It will be a tough 6-12 months from here on. Hoping for some patience!

Excellent piece on the "Woke" crowd

https://www.livemint.com/opinion/columns/opinion-the-intolerant-new-religion-that-is-perceived-victimhood-1567966002930.html

Hope the people complaining see this

https://www.livemint.com/opinion/columns/opinion-the-revocation-of-article-370-ends-a-foul-majoritarianism-1565549062884.html