god knows!!!

Today's fortune:
You and your wife will be happy in your life together

i cant even comment !!!

Friends (especially if they are girls)

Friends .... I always wanted to know what makes someone a good friend to me...... I have a great group of guys from undergrad...... with whom I never feel weird.... I always see it is a give and take relationship ....and they are around when you need them.....

With the girls (undergrad and grad) ..... however i cannot say that with conviction ...... dont know why.... may be I was conservative to get so close to a girl that I am sure about what she thinks......... or may be because i give in a lot................ i know i do.... i have to change!!

and then .... undergrad you had a huge group of people to chooce from and I chose my group....
the grad life in US..... I was not that fortunate....... i did not have such a huge choice set.... but i did make some great friends...... one of the guys most close to me moved at the end of my first year.... i miss the long discussions... but i always feel great when i talk to him........ Slowly new friendships strengthened...... only to slowly start dissolving a bit........ Still once in a while i feel nobody understands me....... I am sure I am right...anyway...

Coming to the girls..... because of the unique behavior each girl has her own way..... at some point you will feel weird with everybody... i feel something is missing when its a girl !!

anway................. life inspite of all this moves on........................

Summer

Today's fortune:
Time is the wisest counselor

I hope so.....................

Summer has well and truly begun....
its hot out here in Austin.... both the weather and research.......

I just e-mailed a draft to my guide...... and i sure will have a sleepless night...

I hope this will change someday...

Till then... i will be tense whenever I mail him something

Lets see what he thinks about it!!

Life...... has to go on

Well...... I am beginning to realize the efffects of my decision........ I find myself realizing that it wont be easy to handle it... But still... work will be my companion........ and it would be a good one...

One of my good friends was here for the weekend.... it was good talking to him..... after abt 2 years... good to hear from someone else that he woiuld have acted similarly given the constraints I had.... Of course I am not trying to say I am correct... I will always feel if only I had the guts!!...but the fact is I cant do it..without my parents consent...anyway!!!

Pokiri was decent...the perfect mass entertainer... Puri jagannath is good :D

My paper is due tomorrow... need to work hard...... and get it done!!

Lets go there!!

Advisor

Hmmm... my advisor...
dont know what to say....

I was suppossed to give a paper in December..... Before going to India....I could not..... then we had a change of idea.... we shifted to a new model... started working on it and I had my semester ..with 3 courses... and CEMDAP...... and with all this i finished my analysis and had to write a paper... today he asks why did it take so long!!

i dont know how to respond....

anyway... life still goes on

Sports stuff

Today's Orkut fortune:
You will always have good luck in your personal affairs

I wish it was true....anyway

Watched the French open... I was very dissappointed.... Nadal played well..but federer committed too many errors..... It was tough for him on clay..... He still has some ground to catch up...but still he can win french is all i can say... I just hope he will prove it someday... the sooner the better....

Sehwag's typical 180 was awesome and i just love his audacity!!

Time

I am finding it hard to accept.....i still dont think the entire effect of my decision has struck me... It still will take time to sink in.... and when it does.... i will need all my strength to fight it.... I will fight because I know myself..... But still there will be some real bad days ahead......anyway!!
I have lot of work to do...which will help me.....
CEMDAP has been going really well.... I guess we are close to completing the debugging.....
My paper...is not done yet...and I need to put in time to get it done......in fact a lot of time....

lets see how this summer unfolds...the last summer professionally was a bad one.... this one already is bad on the personal front........I am waiting to see how it turns out professionally......
I cant even hope for something!!!

Its over

I dont know how to put it in words.........................................
But its over!!
I dont what will happen........ and how i will recover!!

Timing

Today's orkut fortune:
Your love life will be happy and harmonious

Could not have timed it worse than this I think !!

My Dilemma

My dilemma continues......
I for sure am in a situation which will influence my life..... But still I do not know what to do.... Either solution in front of me is not gonna leave everyone happy..... But should I care more about my life and my happiness and make the decision? Of course there is also her happiness..... then if I go that way it would affect my parents...... But imagining my life without her is really difficult ...i cant even try!!... its simply undescribabale.......... I still continue to ponder over this!!!!
Dont know for how long can I keep thinking!!

What am I suppossed to do

Been fearing that this is what will happen... And finally i recieve confirmation.... What am I suppossed to do...

Did i fail myself... could I have been stronger in arguing... I dont know... I did what I could... But may be that was not enough.... What I cannot understand is if I cant get my choice in the most important decision of my life.... Whats the use of even going through that part of life...... where I would have a choice.... excluding the person I liked most!!

For now... I can only cry!!