This post is not aimed to blame anyone. It is purely my observation over the last six months or so of how different are the ways people treat their "friends" and how I deal with my friends.
Before getting into it - I decide who I will treat as a friend. There are some criterion for me to decide whether he/she falls into it. It is regarding these friends that I talk.
It could be a pessimistic view as well. But i will have to express it. So here it goes!!
For me, very rarely do I not find time to go out with a friend when i know the plan well ahead. I always make time because saying no to a friend is not in my nature. If I know I wont be able to make it I make sure my friend knows even before the plans are made. Further, if I say I will do something for some friend I remember to do it and most of the times have done it. But when I observe people I feel that is not the case universally. I have heard no's after every detail has been planned and I have heard people change their plans after everything is assumed to be fixed. I remember days when I was tight pressed for time but yet I went out. I always believed it just depends on the way you plan your day to work. But I have observed many (if not all) people give so much precedence to their work. Sometimes I nearly tell them even I work. But the reason why they behave like that is (to put it very bluntly) "They don't give a damn about how you feel when they have work". Well, there is nothing right or wrong in this. I am not making judgments here. I never even realized this until very recently. i was always ready to place friends above my work, but when I see so many people and moreover see how it is widely accepted you tend to reflect. After these six months now I am really working hard (yes I am!!) to put work above friends. Many things have changed for me in the last year n half (after my last India trip). The most important thing changed because I am a loser. Another thing that has changed is I have started to do things that make me happy. For many days I did things that my good friends liked (Well this is something I feel, may be my friends might beg to differ). Now, I make sure I have time to do things that I want. If somebody also likes it fine, else I will do it alone!!
Of course, I do know people who go out of their way to see that friends are happy. But sometimes I feel it is rare!
Anyway, i want to reiterate this is not aimed at any person. If it was I would directly go at the person (I am not afraid to do that, because i will show it on my face anyway!!).
Of course in spite of all this life moves on, doesn't it?
Before getting into it - I decide who I will treat as a friend. There are some criterion for me to decide whether he/she falls into it. It is regarding these friends that I talk.
It could be a pessimistic view as well. But i will have to express it. So here it goes!!
For me, very rarely do I not find time to go out with a friend when i know the plan well ahead. I always make time because saying no to a friend is not in my nature. If I know I wont be able to make it I make sure my friend knows even before the plans are made. Further, if I say I will do something for some friend I remember to do it and most of the times have done it. But when I observe people I feel that is not the case universally. I have heard no's after every detail has been planned and I have heard people change their plans after everything is assumed to be fixed. I remember days when I was tight pressed for time but yet I went out. I always believed it just depends on the way you plan your day to work. But I have observed many (if not all) people give so much precedence to their work. Sometimes I nearly tell them even I work. But the reason why they behave like that is (to put it very bluntly) "They don't give a damn about how you feel when they have work". Well, there is nothing right or wrong in this. I am not making judgments here. I never even realized this until very recently. i was always ready to place friends above my work, but when I see so many people and moreover see how it is widely accepted you tend to reflect. After these six months now I am really working hard (yes I am!!) to put work above friends. Many things have changed for me in the last year n half (after my last India trip). The most important thing changed because I am a loser. Another thing that has changed is I have started to do things that make me happy. For many days I did things that my good friends liked (Well this is something I feel, may be my friends might beg to differ). Now, I make sure I have time to do things that I want. If somebody also likes it fine, else I will do it alone!!
Of course, I do know people who go out of their way to see that friends are happy. But sometimes I feel it is rare!
Anyway, i want to reiterate this is not aimed at any person. If it was I would directly go at the person (I am not afraid to do that, because i will show it on my face anyway!!).
Of course in spite of all this life moves on, doesn't it?
2 comments:
Interesting post.. The phrase, "I don't have time" is a standard excuse in our individualistic society.
P.s. Enable anonymous comments.. You might find more comments from junta.
Post a Comment