A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
~ Milton Berle
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage."
~ James Holt McGavran
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must
be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
~ David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.
~ Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.
~ Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you
get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~ Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
~ Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
"What does a woman want?
~ Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
~ Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go
to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft
music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
~ Henry Youngman
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
~ Sam Kinison
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the
second one didn't."
~ Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong,
admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
~ Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
it once... - Anonymous
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
~ Rodney Dangerfield
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
~ Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine." - Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky,
mine's still alive." - Anonymous
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